


Look At Me

by uniquepov



Series: Snarry LDWS Round 5 (Mini-fic Challenge) [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-22
Updated: 2012-04-22
Packaged: 2017-11-05 08:31:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/404385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uniquepov/pseuds/uniquepov
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the days following the Final Battle, Harry makes a surprising discovery.</p><p>Week 3<br/>
Prompt: Tension is actually UST</p>
            </blockquote>





	Look At Me

**Author's Note:**

> **A/N:** italicised canon scene and dialogue from DH, Chapter 32.
> 
> I participated in Round 5 of the [](http://snarry-ldws.livejournal.com/profile)[**snarry_ldws**](http://snarry-ldws.livejournal.com/) \- the Mini-Fic challenge! I was lucky enough to make it to the final two, where the inimitable [](http://literaryspell.livejournal.com/profile)[**literaryspell**](http://literaryspell.livejournal.com/) took home the gold, as they say.
> 
>  **Disclaimer:** I solemnly swear that I am up to no good; however, I promise to return everyone, good as new, when I'm done playing with them. I own nothing that you recognize, and I do not profit from any of it.

In the days following the Final Battle, Harry worked alongside the other survivors, rounding up the remaining Death Eaters, healing the wounded, and grieving the dead. He clung to Ron and Hermione, George and Neville, Luna and Ginny.

But at night, in the makeshift quarters he shared with the others, he couldn’t sleep. He roamed the grounds, ranging along the edge of the Forbidden Forest and staring out across the Black Lake, listening to the giant squid splashing its tentacles in the shallows.

Thinking.

_‘Look … at … me …’ he’d whispered._

_The green eyes found the black, but after a second something in the depths of the dark pair seemed to vanish, leaving them fixed, blank and empty. The hand holding Harry thudded to the floor, and Snape moved no more._

Harry kicked at a tuft of grass by the edge of the lake. Why was he so obsessed with Snape? Fred didn’t haunt his memories. Remus and Tonks weren’t stalking his dreams. Why _Snape_?

Granted, he’d watched Snape die, but… Merlin! He’d hated the man!

Harry was sure he’d _hated_ the man.

_‘Look … at … me …’ he’d whispered._

He had watched the light fade from Snape’s eyes. Harry had viewed his memories in the Pensieve in the Headmaster’s office until he knew them by heart. He wanted to cling to the hate he’d felt, to the distrust that seemed to come naturally when it came to the greasy git. But the longer Harry thought about it, the more times he slipped past the gargoyle and into the Headmaster’s office to view Snape’s memories and his final moments… the more he wasn’t so sure.

Harry remembered Snape coming down to the gates at the start of sixth-year, when Malfoy’d stomped on his face and broken his nose. Tonks had sent her Patronus to Hagrid, but Snape had intercepted it. Harry remembered the briefest flicker of worry crossing Snape’s face before he schooled his features into their customary sneer. Snape had been even worse than usual on the walk to the castle, his remarks carefully sharpened to a razor’s edge, but his eyes kept flicking back to Harry as he struggled to keep pace with Snape’s longer strides…

He remembered Snape, casting one final look over his shoulder before Disapparating, after his retreat from the Astronomy Tower and the destruction of Hagrid’s cabin. As though there was something he wanted to say, but couldn’t…

Harry remembered the look in his eyes on the night of the battle, when Snape had been duelling with McGonagall and Flitwick, momentarily cornered behind a suit of armour before he’d flown to Voldemort’s side. Snape’s eyes had raked over him, drinking Harry into their black depths, heedless of the danger such distraction would pose in a duel…

He remembered that final night; Snape had clutched his robes and pulled him close, Harry’s eyes the last thing he would see…

Harry sucked in a breath as his memories of Snape seemed to subtly shift in his head. He sat down hard on the grass by the shoreline as he heard Snape’s voice echoing in his mind.

_‘ … Look … at … me …’_

‘I never knew.’ Harry scrubbed at his eyes with the collar of his jumper. ‘I never realised...’

Harry lowered his head into his hands and wept for the man he’d thought he hated, who he’d thought hated him in return.

The man whose last thoughts had been of him; whose dying wish had been to be close to him, and to look into Harry’s eyes.


End file.
